The Woman's Cause is Man's
by Alfred Tennyson
'Blame not thyself too much,' I said, 'nor blame
by Alfred Tennyson
'Blame not thyself too much,' I said, 'nor blame
Too much the sons of men and barbarous laws;
These were the rough ways of the world till now.
Henceforth thou hast a helper, me, that know
The woman's cause is man's: they rise or sink
Together, dwarfed or godlike, bond or free:
For she that out of Lethe scales with man
The shining steps of Nature, shares with man
His nights, his days, moves with him to one goal,
Stays all the fair young planet in her hands--
If she be small, slight-natured, miserable,
How shall men grow? but work no more alone!
Our place is much: as far as in us lies
We two will serve them both in aiding her--
Will clear away the parasitic forms
That seem to keep her up but drag her down--
Will leave her space to burgeon out of all
Within her--let her make herself her own
To give or keep, to live and learn and be
All that not harms distinctive womanhood.
For woman is not undevelopt man,
But diverse: could we make her as the man,
Sweet Love were slain: his dearest bond is this,
Not like to like, but like in difference.
Yet in the long years liker must they grow;
The man be more of woman, she of man;
He gain in sweetness and in moral height,
Nor lose the wrestling thews that throw the world;
She mental breadth, nor fail in childward care,
Nor lose the childlike in the larger mind;
Till at the last she set herself to man,
Like perfect music unto noble words;
And so these twain, upon the skirts of Time,
Sit side by side, full-summed in all their powers,
Dispensing harvest, sowing the To-be,
Self-reverent each and reverencing each,
Distinct in individualities,
But like each other even as those who love.
Then comes the statelier Eden back to men:
Then reign the world's great bridals, chaste and calm:
Then springs the crowning race of humankind.
May these things be!
'Sighing she spoke 'I fear
They will not.''
Dear, but let us type them now
In our own lives, and this proud watchword rest
Of equal; seeing either sex alone
Is half itself, and in true marriage lies
Nor equal, nor unequal: each fullfils
Defect in each, and always thought in thought,
Purpose in purpose, will in will, they grow,
The single pure and perfect animal,
The two-celled heart beating, with one full stroke, Life.'
And again sighing she spoke: 'A dream
That once was mind! what woman taught you this?'
This poem is absolutely beautiful. From my interpretation of it, it seems as if he is describing the benefits of marriage, the beauty of growing old with someone and how marriage is to build up and strengthen; not bring down and corrupt.
One of the first things Tennyson points out is that a woman joining a man is basically moving "with him to one goal." Their lives are ones that are categorized as serving together ... marriage is a relationship, a fun friendship, a companionship and a life-long partnership. Tennyson says "his dearest bond is this, not like to like, but like in difference. Yet in the long years the liker must they grow, the man be more of woman, she of man." Marriage is a journey one takes where you learn about someone and grow to love someone in a deep way. It is also very important to point out that marriage is about two people complementing each other, not controling.
I love how Tennyson brings in that women have differences and men have differences, and yet we need each other!
From my point of view, marriage is a wonderful symbol of Christ and His Chuch (the body of Christ). Thus the man's role in marriage is going to be different than the woman's role, but no less important. Marriage is a joining of two lives,two people and I Corinthians 7:3-4 has some vital truths to share: "Let the husband render to his wife the affection due to her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." One is not greater than the other, but they do have different jobs in a marriage.
About the picture of Christ and His Church, Ephesians 5 expounds more on this topic. "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." We woman don't submit in a marriage because we are forced too, we submit because it is an example of order. Remember, submission is order not retribution. And Christ Himself submitted to the death of the cross...all the more reason we women should be willing to showforth that Christ-like characteristic. 'For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands, in every thing." Paul is just getting into more detail as for the reason of submission. Submission is pleasing to the Lord, and isn't it our goal to be "well pleasing to Him?" Perhaps a woman is more "spiritual" than the man (it does happen! I Peter 3)...but we should still encourage him and allow him to take the place of headship, not us. Eve decided to take the place of headship, and look what happened with that!
As I read this poem, I just thought in terms of a woman. Our submissive qualities are things that can help men...they can make them stronger and allow them to take initiative. We can be along side them and serving by their side. Not above them, nor under them...rather beside them. And when we submit, we are giving the men the respect they so hunger after. And when you see a wife who respects her husband - you also see a husband who loves his wife. Marriage displays this attitude as Tennyson says, "each fulfills defect in each, and always thought in thought, purpose in purpose, will in will, they grow."
"For this reason a man shall
leave his father and mother
and be joined to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh."
Genesis 2:24
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